Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
