I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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