Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
