at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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