Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
