The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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