Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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