Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
