big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
