Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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