Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
