So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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