problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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