I think scott just propositioned me for sex
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
