Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
