Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
