Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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