Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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