even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
