i may or may not be watching the land before time
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
