My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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