i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
