Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
