he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
