i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
