Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
