I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
