i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
