my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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