I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm like, not good at living.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
