Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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