im about as happy as oj after his trial
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
