also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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