Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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