Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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