Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
