i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
