Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
