What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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