he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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