White coat. Heels.
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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