drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
These tits shall not be calmed
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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