I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
