I love black thongs
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
