Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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