I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
