whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize