The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
