I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
