Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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