My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
