is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I could fuck to npr.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
