hell yes lets make some ravioli
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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