do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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