I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
