i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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