Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
