need another drink. this is the easiest way
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
