it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
