I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
