You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
