Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
