I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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