so that wasnt chicken after all
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i need some magic done to my vagina
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
