Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize