If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
