well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
accomplished twins. life is a go
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
