i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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