Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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