I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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