Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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