my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
