That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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