i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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